Creating a family of values!

An old father went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and the grand child. The father is so old that his hands were trembling, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. Once, while having his dinner, the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult for him. Rice rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, water spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about our old father,” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.”  So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, the old father ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner on the family table. Since the old father had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!  Sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The three-year-old daughter Varsha watched it all in silence. One evening before dinner, the father noticed his daughter playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?”  Just as sweetly, the girl responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and mother to eat your food in when I grow up.”

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took his old father’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his day, he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

In a family environment where values lead, there is no humming, no arguing, and no conflict. There is no power struggle and children are not made to feel “guilty” or “wrong.” All will let the issue go, whatever be the degree of seriousness. This is one simple benefit of using family values – and there are many!  No matter how young your children are, it’s never too early or late to begin using values as the bedrock of your family. If your children are too young to help create your family’s value set, you will be able to create them as a parent team and you will have the advantage of already knowing how to work with this system as your children mature. You can always go back later and have your children add to your value set.

And no matter how old your children are; it’s never too late to have your family philosophy! If you want to end teenage outbursts, family misunderstandings, heartburns, relationship issues and so on…or to bring your family members into the table with responsibility. It allows them to co-create your family philosophy into a conscious agreement – and they will not be able to argue with boundaries that they helped create for themselves. Think of creating a family of values!